Somewhere in the last few years I have forgotten how to stand up for myself, and with that my confidence has been lost as well. As I start motivating myself to become a better person, and understand who I am and what I want more and more, I have begun to recognize subtle changes in myself that I didn't realize until this journey began. These stories will be in effort to put it all on page, in hopes that getting it out of my system and into the open I can begin to understand how to fix myself, and find myself.
These stories are about my best friend, and our stories, and eventually my frustrations with her. This is part one of many to come.
I have a friend, a best friend, we have been friends for what seems like forever. We have this amazing friend story from Grade 8. We had been introduced through mutual friends, and one day after school she invited me over until her mom would come home from work and drive me home with my cheese order. She lived not too far from our school, so we picked up our MacMillan's cheese orders and headed to her house. When we got there, she rooted through her backpack to learn that she had forgotten her key. We searched the backyard for a spare but came up with nothing. We made the decision to walk to my house, which was about 15 minutes away. Now, I forgot to mention that it was the middle of winter, and it there was snowy rain coming down. We made it to my house, soaked to the bone, and absolutely freezing. We had a hot chocolate and played some Balderdash, and later on after she went home, I received a phone call from her letting me know that she had found her key in her backpack. We always looked at it as a sign that we were meant to be best friends forever.
We spent grade 8, 9, and some of grade 10 inseparable. We were together all the time, and actually had this funny thing where we would write each other notes every night, and swap them every morning. It's hilarious looking back at them now, because they are all about boys, and the fact that we had just gotten off the phone with one another, or we were looking forward to spending the upcoming weekend together. Nothing of real importance was ever recorded, and we have hundreds of notes from each other. Anyways, in was in grade 10 when we decided to go our separate ways, looking back it was absolutely ridiculous, but it happened nonetheless. We had both started hanging out with different people. We always had different groups of friends once high school started, but I think anyone who has been through high school knows what it can be like. Neither one of us liked each others groups of friends, so rather than just remain friends, we consciously decided to end our inseparable friendship. I actually think I remember the exact moment, I could be wrong, but I remember walking through the cafeteria with her discussing our options. She told me how much she didn't like my friends, because they were rude, and had the attitude that they thought they were better than everyone else (which looking back now I realize that this was true, and still is true, but that's a different story). I told her how much I didn't like her friends, for reasons that I don't think I ever said, but I thought they were losers, and I might have been wrong, but again we all know how high school can be (we all want to be somebody, in a sea of nobodies).
We spent the rest of high school barely talking, saying hi in the halls, but that was about it. Itwasn't until after grade 12, when the summer ended that we finally reunited our friendship, but that's another story waiting to be told...
Love, N
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